THE HEIR ABHORRENT! (weekly poem)

THE HEIR ABHORRENT!

Some intellectuals would prefer William to

by-pass Prince Charles and become King.

When God created young Prince Charles,

He threw the mould away;

As He had fashioned an excess,

Of nincompoops that day.

On further checking-out the Prince,

Some more defects were seen;

Both ears (which used up all the clay)

Had nothing in between!

Which fully qualified the Prince,

To speak upon such things;

As architectural design,

The specialty of Kings.

This quickly led (to no surprise)

To full-blown expertise;

On every subject known to man,

And all acquired with ease!

Such as for Homeopathy,

The cure for all known ills;

To save our crumbling NHS,

Prescribing costly pills.

But most clear-thinking people know,

His views are quite inane,

And like the Oz film scarecrow man; (1)

Charles simply needs a brain!

So who amongst the pointy-heads,

Would want to volunteer;

To lend their brain to Charles and fill,

The void between each ear?

It’s been suggested he should have,

A ‘Blair-transplant’ today;

But Tony’s ego would burst through,

The Royal Heir’s toupee!

A compromise was thus devised,

And Boris filled the gap;

With the result Prince Charles now talks,

A double load of pap!

(1) In the 1939 film ‘The Wizard of Oz’, the

scarecrow laments on not having a brain.

© Richard Layton