Tuesday, July 14, 2015

THE HEIR ABHORRENT! (weekly poem)


Some intellectuals would prefer William to
by-pass Prince Charles and become King.

When God created young Prince Charles,
He threw the mould away;
As He had fashioned an excess,
Of nincompoops that day.
On further checking-out the Prince,
Some more defects were seen;
Both ears (which used up all the clay)
Had nothing in between!
Which fully qualified the Prince,
To speak upon such things;
As architectural design,
The specialty of Kings.

This quickly led (to no surprise)
To full-blown expertise;
On every subject known to man,
And all acquired with ease!
Such as for Homeopathy,
The cure for all known ills;
To save our crumbling NHS,
Prescribing costly pills.
But most clear-thinking people know,
His views are quite inane,
And like the Oz film scarecrow man; (1)
Charles simply needs a brain!

So who amongst the pointy-heads,
Would want to volunteer;
To lend their brain to Charles and fill,
The void between each ear?
It’s been suggested he should have,
A ‘Blair-transplant’ today;
But Tony’s ego would burst through,
The Royal Heir’s toupee!
A compromise was thus devised,
And Boris filled the gap;
With the result Prince Charles now talks,
A double load of pap!

(1) In the 1939 film ‘The Wizard of Oz’, the
scarecrow laments on not having a brain.

© Richard Layton

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