Tuesday, December 11, 2018

WOULD YOU ADAM AND EVE IT?! (weekly poem)

A Cambridge museum's medieval court painting
of Adam and Eve has had their nudity restored
after being overpainted by a Christian prude.

The great God of the Christian faith;
Who's something of a prude,
“Is most concerned what humans do,
Especially when nude”; (1)
And can't 'bare' such behaviour,
In case it's rude and crude!

With billions of galaxies,
To polish and to shine,
Jehovah's main concern is still,
To stifle His design;
Of all our naughty bits so He,
Can make us toe the line.

Thus only procreative sex,
Is Kosher when unclad,
And would-be Mums must all ensure,
They're married to the Dad;
As every other act whilst stripped,
He classifies as bad.

All other times we must subdue,
Our gross God-given urge,
And not indulge in sinful sex,
A lust we must submerge;
Or with His love on Judgement Day,
We'll suffer in His purge!

So all aspiring 'Humanoids',
For you to live sin-free,
Buy consecrated Bromide Pills,
And drop them in your tea,
Then pray to Him you're not the cause,
Of further Bastardy!

(1) Humorous comment by the American philosopher, Sam Harris.

© Richard Layton

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