THE UNITED KINGDOM IGNORAMUSES PARTY!
Go back home Johnny Foreigner,
You’re taking all our jobs;
This land is for the British Folk,
And not you foreign slobs.
Before you came to Britain’s shores,
There was no poverty;
And unemployment was unknown,
And things were nearly free!
It’s true that rickets wasn’t rare,
But as a rule of thumb;
Most families were quite content,
To rent their own small slum.
In Britain’s hallowed Empire days,
There was no working class;
Complaining ‘bout food shortages,
When immigrants were sparse.
The E.U. is responsible,
For Britain’s many queers;
Bubonic Plague, bad weather and,
Those rotten lager beers.
In fact it must be said today,
(And it’s no UKIP fad)
That Europe is the only cause ,
Of everything that’s bad!
And though we’re all descended from,
The Normans and Scots;
The Celts, Iberians and Norse, (1)
And Frenchie Huguenots, (2)
Us Anglo-Saxons solely are,
The true “Britisches volk”;
Don’t mention we’re from Germany,
Or tell Farage the joke! (2)
(1) After the last Ice Age, an unoccupied
Britain was settled by European peoples …
(2)…including (much later) Nigel Farage’s
French Huguenot ancestors.
Farage’s wife is German.
(‘Huguenots’ can be pronounced as
‘Hugh-ger-knows’ or ‘Hugh-ger-nots’.)
© Richard Layton