Monday, January 02, 2017

THE NEW YEAR NEWS UNFURLS!

 
THE NEW YEAR NEWS UNFURLS!

A Constitutional Crisis, the Fall of the British Empire and
the collapse of the Stock Exchange are likely following
the Queen’s non-attendance at Sandringham Church
on New Year’s Day because of a heavy recurring cold.

Poor Liz, ‘was not oneself’, so Phil,
Went to church on his tod, (1)
To partake in the usual,
Obeisance to ‘one’s God’;
A practice, that increasingly,
Is looking somewhat odd!

And the Archbosh of Cant was at,
His own ablutions too,
In asking for a, “Christ-like world”, (2)
From his declining few;
A myth that the majority,
Have seen completely through.

The Honours List brought sanity,
‘Cos when it was unfurled,
Miss Beckham was an OBE,
So, ‘All’s right with the world’;
As now her ‘fabrications’ will,
Continue to be twirled!

“For services to fashion”, quoth
The List most civilly,
With naught about the profits made,
From each excessive fee; (3)
That’s earned by all of us in (quote)
‘Our fashion industry’!

This New Year’s going be the same,
I feel it in my bones,
We’ll see a swarm of selfies snapped,
On many mobile phones;
And read the usual trash about,
These useless social drones!

(1) After the service, the Duke (as President Emeritus
of the World Wildlife Fund) went pheasant shooting.

(2) Welby called for social harmony after the Brexit Vote.

(3) Miss Beckham’s latest fashion line is thought to
be worth £60m. Her family wealth totals £508m.

© Richard Layton  

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