The Association of Christian Counsellors says the practice
of trying to ‘cure’ homosexuals should stop but the Core
Issues Trust says Christian ethics must be upheld.(1)
I minced my way to ‘A & E’,
The message there was clear;
“You’re not the sort of ‘casualty’,
That we can deal with here.
You need Aversion Therapy,
For an effective cure;
Then, maybe, the Core Issues Trust,
Will certify you’re pure”.
So I booked in the Priory, (2)
To see an analyst;
And try a dose of ECT, (3)
To force me to desist.
I paid up front in Nine-bob notes
And used a nom-de-plume;
So I was peeved to find a vase,
Of pansies in my room!
Perhaps my sprayed-on leather jeans,
Brought on a mincing gait;
And drew attention to the staff,
Of my inverted trait.
Emasculation was discussed,
I didn’t give a toss;
The bromide had contributed,
To my libido loss.
My sexual proclivities,
Were analysed in full;
But they concluded that a cure,
Was just a load of bull.
So I bestrode the centre road,
To be respectable;
That’s why I’m now bisexual,
And voting Liberal!
(1) The Core Issues Trust is a Christian organisation
which offers ‘therapeutic support’ and counselling
for homosexuals to change their behaviour.
(2) London clinic known for treating celebrities with addictions.
(3) Electroconvulsive Therapy
© Richard Layton