CHICKENHAWKS & THIEVING MAGPIES! (WEEKLY POEM)

CHICKENHAWKS & THIEVING MAGPIES! 

‘Chickenhawks’ – tough-talking US

politicians who avoided the Draft.(1)

Why do the U.S. voters choose,

Those Pols, time after time;

The sort of guys you wouldn’t trust,

If you were bust with your last crust,

Or your last lousy Dime.

Dan Quayle was dafter than a brush, (2)

But clearly not too daft;

To join up with the National Guard,

And thus it wasn’t too damn hard,

To dodge the Vietnam Draft.

One more Draft dodger, ‘Dubya’ Bush (3)

The ‘Einstein’ of his day;

Who planned Iraq’s war with such flair,

Along with crony Tony Blair,

It wouldn’t go away!

Bill Clinton, too, escaped the Draft,

And fled to England’s shores,

And studied hard in Oxford town,

And kept his Democrat head down,

Away from U.S. wars.

At the White House in Washington,

Beneath the office desk;

In a state of asexual sin, (4)

Knelt Monica Lewinsky in,

A scene from a burlesque.

Whilst in resuscitative mode,

She gave him mouth-to-mouth;

A normal practice in First Aid,

But rumour has it treatment strayed,

In a direction south!

Next Richard Millhouse Nixon who,

Was known as ‘Tricky Dick’;

Then ‘Watergate’ caused quite a row

(Expletives are deleted now)

But still he was a P - - - k!

And Nixon’s ‘President of Vice’

That Spiro Agnew guy, (5)

A crafty, sly Republican,

Whose graft was as American,                           

As Mother’s apple pie!

Americans should recognise,

That those in the top jobs;

Buy power with their billions,

And then con all the millions,

Of those they see as slobs.

(1) Draft dodging politicians (Chickenhawks!): Joe Biden; George W. Bush;

Jeb Bush; Dick Cheney; Bill Clinton; Newt Gingrich; Rudolf Giuliani; Richard Perle;

Mitt Romney; Karl Rove; Arnold Schwarzenegger and Paul Wolfowitz;

(2) On a school visit, Dan Quayle ‘corrected’ a student’s spelling of potato

to ‘potatoe’.

(3) Bush also avoided the Vietnam War by joining the National Guard.

(4) Clinton claimed that he wasn’t engaging in sexual activity with Monica Lewinsky

but she was with him.

(5) Vice-President Agnew ‘resigned’ because of bribes and tax-evasion.

© Richard Layton