Monday, December 25, 2017

THE UPPER-CLASS TWIT OF THE YEAR 2017! (weekly poem)

(Apologies to the BBC & SPOTY)

Bookies Odds: Jacob Rees-Mogg 5/4 on; Boris Johnson 3/1;                        
Michael Gove 5/1; Jeremy Hunt 20/1; Dennis Skinner 500/1.

All Workers! Your chance cometh near,
As you can now vote with your rear;
For a windy old fart,
Who you think fits the part,
Of “Upper-Class Twit of the Year”!

The Beeb says that it will record,
Your choice of a Nob or a Lord;
So choose any posh Berk,
With a toffee-nosed smirk,
For this most prestigious award.

One could, of course, just vote by rote,
For Tories who own a clean moat;
As most other MP's,
Though not down on their knees,
Aren't foppish enough for your vote.

You may like to narrow your bet,
And keep to the Public-School set;
Yes, you all know the type,
Affectation and hype,
RP and the 'reight' etiquette! (1)

One need not be too doctrinaire,
As Toffs with grey cells are quite rare;
If you vote for a Nob,
With a snobby posh gob,
You're in with a wing and a prayer.

There are Chinless Wonders and Twits,
And Henry's who dine at the Ritz;
So make sure your vote's made,
For the swanky brigade,
And upper-class twit you think fits!

(1) Received Pronunciation.

© Richard Layton

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Thanks for a great year of funny and insightful poems! Keep it up!