A DNA test has shown that Justin Welby, the Archbishop of
Canterbury, was 99.9779% likely to be the illegitimate son
of Sir Winston Churchill’s private secretary, “Jock” Colville.
Well be damned - the ‘A of C’,
Was born a little ‘B’;
Egad ‘Conceived out of wedlock’,
‘Fruit of adultery’!
‘On the wrong side of the blanket’,
‘Baseborn’ in ‘Bastardy’;
No ‘Benefit of clergy’ and
‘Without a name’. Tee-hee!
How could Jehovah’s second Priest, (1)
Commit such wanton sin?
Oh dear, the moral turpitude,
Our parents put us in! (2)
And will the ‘A of C’ soon scream,
And burn in hell above;
To demon-strate to Atheists,
What Jesus meant by love?
So little bastards everywhere,
Don’t blame your dear old dad;
For all the little children damned,
Blame Priests who called you bad!
(1) Next to the Pope.
(2) Justin Welby’s mother had a drunken one-night
stand with Sir John Rupert "Jock" Colville just prior
to her marriage to whisky salesman Gavin Welby.
© Richard Layton