A DEDICATION TO HRH PRINCE CHARLES ON THE OCCASION
OF HIS 67th BIRTHDAY ON SATURDAY 14th NOVEMBER 2015!
Prince Charles, we all salute you, Sir,
Your Birthday falls today;
One more as heir as it appears,
Your Mummy’s here to stay!
For over sixty years you’ve played,
Your heir apparent role; (1)
Although you’ve never needed to,
Sign on and draw the dole.
We all recall when Mummy made,
Your young self, Prince of Wales;
And you ruled over closing pits,
And coal-dust-laden vales.
We, too, remember Princess Di,
So innocent and fair;
And conned by Britain’s Monarchy,
To bear an heir and spare.
Your views on architecture don’t,
Extend to workers slums;
They live in cardboard Carbuncles, (2)
Whilst you catch all the plums.
And in reality (of course!)
The workers can go suck;
As long as Duchy products can, (3)
Make you a lousy buck.
But one’s not quite redundant yet,
At Seven and Threescore;
As Dooky Phil’s now gaga, we
Still need a Royal bore.
One who’s there to pontificate,
On being wholly Green;
Whilst one consumes the Earth’s largesse,
On levels quite obscene!
(1) His Royal Highness Prince Charles Philip Arthur George, Prince of Wales,
Royal Knight Companion of the Most Noble Order of the Garter, Extra Knight of the Most Ancient and Most Noble Order of the Thistle, Grand Master and Principal Knight Grand Cross of the Most Honourable Order of the Bath, Member of the Order of Merit, Knight of the Order of Australia, Companion of the Queen's Service Order, Member of Her Majesty's Most Honourable Privy Council, Aide-de-Camp, Earl of Chester, Duke of Cornwall, Duke of Rothesay, Earl of Carrick, Baron of Renfrew, Lord of the Isles, Prince and Great Steward of Scotland.
(2) In 1994, Prince Charles described the proposed extension to
London’s National Gallery as a “monstrous carbuncle”.
(3) Duchy Originals supplement the heir’s pitiful allowance.
© Richard Layton