Tuesday, April 18, 2017

OH! I DO LIKE TO BE BESIDE THE SEASIDE! (weekly poem)


OH! I DO LIKE TO BE BESIDE THE SEASIDE!
(apologies to John A. Glover-Kind)

Clacton MP, Douglas Carswell, has resigned from UKIP but
says this time he will not resign his seat and force another
by-election as the situation has, “changed since last time”.

Oh! I do like to be beside the seaside,
Oh! I do like to be beside the sea!
I do like to stroll upon the Prom, Prom, Prom,
Where Mods & Rockers ask, “Where’ve you crawled from?”   
So just let me be beside the seaside,  
Where I get paid to take the pee,
I was dragged in by the tide,       
And should run away and hide, 
Beside the seaside, beneath the sea! 

Oh! I do like to be beside the seaside,
Oh! I do like to be beside the sea! 
I do like to roll along the Pier, Pier, Pier, 
Where my UKIP friends say, “The berk’s still here!” 
So just let me be beside the seaside, 
Where I get paid as your MP, 
And there’s lots more folk beside, 
Who I’ve taken for a ride,
Beside the seaside—you’ll all agree! 

Oh! I do like to be beside the seaside,
I do like to lie upon the sand,
I’d like to pay (by cheque!) another sub, sub, sub,
To re-join the Tories in their club, club, club; 
So just let me be beside the seaside,
And spending all my seventy-odd grand, (1)
And there’s lots of clubs beside,
Where I also have applied, 
Beside the seaside--but I’ve been banned! 

Oh! I don’t like to be beside the seaside,  
I don’t like the migrants in each wave!
I don’t like the coons, who think they’ve got it made,
“Buckets for the Brits!”, the spades should all be spayed,     
So I’m “beside myself” beside the seaside,   
I snarl lopsidedly and rave,
And there’s lots of things beside, 
That will make me burn inside, 
Beside the seaside, until my grave!

(1) An MP’s annual salary.

© Richard Layton

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