THE ENGLAND MANGLER! (weekly poem)

THE ENGLAND MANGLER!

The England Football Manager, Sam Allardyce, was forced

to resign after 1 game and 67 days following a newspaper

sting where he boasted he could subvert transfer restrictions.

To be the England Manager,

Is every schoolboys dream;

Who wouldn’t want a job where one,

Could bask each season in the Sun

And machinate and scheme?!

Who wouldn’t want a job where one,

Of the position’s roles;

Was making rolls of notes instead, (1)

Of making notes in one’s own head,

To help the team score goals!

Oh dear, “It was entrapment”, moans,

The latest England-ex;

Caught in flagrante, as he steams,

(At having lost some income streams!)

Behind his pair of specs.

The world of football’s not about,

A clean game anymore;

It’s all about the agents fees,

Of planning for retirement ease,

And how the sharks can score.

It’s all about the TV rights, (2)

And money-making strip; (3)

The game’s become a minor chore,

An unimportant muddy bore,

An incidental blip.

The profit motive ruins all,

The fans all say the same;

That football’s now about the cash,

And netting a quite useful stash,

And not about the game.

(1) His salary was £3 million per annum.

(2) According to the Daily Telegraph, the 20 Premier

League Clubs share a TV windfall of £8.3billion.

(3) A top club can sell 3 million shirts a season.

© Richard Layton