Tuesday, November 01, 2016

THE ENGLAND MANGLER! (weekly poem)


The England Football Manager, Sam Allardyce, was forced
to resign after 1 game and 67 days following a newspaper
sting where he boasted he could subvert transfer restrictions.

To be the England Manager,
Is every schoolboys dream;
Who wouldn’t want a job where one,
Could bask each season in the Sun
And machinate and scheme?!

Who wouldn’t want a job where one,
Of the position’s roles;
Was making rolls of notes instead, (1)
Of making notes in one’s own head,
To help the team score goals!

Oh dear, “It was entrapment”, moans,
The latest England-ex;
Caught in flagrante, as he steams,
(At having lost some income streams!)
Behind his pair of specs.

The world of football’s not about,
A clean game anymore;
It’s all about the agents fees,
Of planning for retirement ease,
And how the sharks can score.

It’s all about the TV rights, (2)
And money-making strip; (3)
The game’s become a minor chore,
An unimportant muddy bore,
An incidental blip.

The profit motive ruins all,
The fans all say the same;
That football’s now about the cash,
And netting a quite useful stash,
And not about the game.

(1) His salary was £3 million per annum.

(2) According to the Daily Telegraph, the 20 Premier
League Clubs share a TV windfall of £8.3billion.

(3) A top club can sell 3 million shirts a season.

© Richard Layton

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