SOME THOUGHTS FROM HOME
(Apologies to Robert Browning)
After mid-December snow brought the country to a standstill,
the Royal Navy’s new £3bn aircraft carrier limped back to port
with a leak. Russia (or the EU) could have invaded at any time!
Woe to be in England
Now that Winter's here,
As whoever wakes in England,
Is, each morning, unaware,
Our hold against a foe would be but brief
The country's at a standstill—oh good grief!
There is a shortage of snowploughs and how
In England—now!
After November, December follows,
And light snow sometimes dusts the hollows!
And then the country totters on the edge,
Whilst governments act as though all's in clover,
As with their chancy bets they're apt to hedge,
Until the wintry weather passes over!
Lest you think our enemies would then capture
Our flagship on her rupture; (1)
But though the seas looked rough, her hoary crew,
On noontide scuttled back for welds anew,
So once again upon midnight hour,
Britannia rules—until the next snow shower!
(1) HMS Queen Elizabeth on her first sea trials had to return
to port with a leak in her stern. The Russian government
remarked that she would make a rather good target.
© Richard Layton
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