"RAF - NO ORDINARY JOB"

One of the many TV adverts for the Royal Air Force shows 19 year

old Ellie having a grand social life, occasionally working but never

killing or wounding people nor being killed or wounded in action.

Our Ellie's jogging down the road,

(Which is the first thing that you do!)

When one has joined the Air Force boys,

To play with their expensive toys,

Flown by all the same chaps in blue.

Our Ellie's sitting on a train,

Returning to her home on leave,

She's quite fatigued from all the fun,

And life has only just begun,

The ad would have us fools believe!

Our Ellie's back upon the base,

With no sign of a single plane,

Then blow me down she's on the road,

Not marching with a heavy load,

But jogging with the guys again!

Then Ellie frolics in the sea,

With the said drop-dead gorgeous chaps,

Then duty calls from State and Queen,

She looks at her fluorescent screen,

And studies all her radar maps.

And then she fiddles with a plane,

And twiddles lots of nuts with glee,

But in the next shot, give me strength,

She's swimming more than just a length,

In the warm blue Aegean sea!

Boobs pointedly point out the way,

As Ellie shows off each bronzed loin,

As this daft sexist TV ad,

Exists to urge each randy lad,

And divvy-civvy girl to join!

© Richard Layton