If I had a dollar for every time I wished they made
earplugs just for women, I’d still have only 78 cents for every dollar
earned by men. And yet! The marketing world never sleeps and R&D has
a job to do, so lady earplugs are a reality. As are a whole range of
other genderized products no one ever asked for or needed. And so we
present, for your reading pleasure, 10 of the most useless products “for
him” and “for her.”
1) Pink Guns and Lady Gun Accessories
You
love shooting to kill but hate the way blue steel butches up your
outfit. No worries! There’s actually a bustling cottage industry built
on manufacturing the lady guns you want, which obviously come in pink
and lavender and “Tiffany blue.” How will you carry all that adorable
firepower? Well, there are a handful of retailers that sell accessories
for your pretty pistols, from gun holster bras to conceal-carry purses.
One company even makes pink bullets, sales of which they claim help
support finding a cure for breast cancer. Because what better way to
help save a life than by shooting something to death?
You know how regular candles are like tiny beacons of light,
illuminating your shortcomings as a man? Man candles, or mandles, are
the opposite of that. Burning them around the house will cause you to
spontaneously grow a second nutsack so manly it will fight your old
nutsack just for hanging around on its turf. Mmandles come in scents
like “Black Leather Jacket” and “Hickory Smoked Bacon.” The “Fart” mandle, which the product description reassures us “smells like a FART” is, sadly, out of stock.
We
all know the worst thing about regular dryer sheets is that they make
you smell like you have ovaries and daddy issues. With Bounce’s dryer
sheets for men, you can instead smell like sports and unearned
confidence. They’re still totally toxic, but at least they’re not, you know, feminine.
There are more at the link but I have no wish to waste anyone's time, just simply to point out some of the triviality that goes along with raking in more profit from a seemingly unaware pool of consumers.
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