“SCOTLAND, LAND OF THE OMNIPOTENT NO” (Poem)

“SCOTLAND, LAND OF THE OMNIPOTENT NO”

(A line from the poem ‘A Memory of Death’

by the Scottish poet, Alan Bold 1943-1998)

18/09/2014. In the Scottish Independence

Referendum, 55% of the voters said ‘No’.

In Scotland the ‘No’ voters are,

Now walking with a lilt;

Whilst Alex Salmond feels chill wind,

Especially up his kilt!

The polls up to the vote itself,

Were far too close to call;

With much excitement on both sides

In truth, about naff-all. 

As all the visions dangled in,

The face of Scottish folk;

Were hopes of little consequence

And something of a joke.

As either way with ‘Yea’ or ‘Nay’

The choice for every Scot;

Would not have altered their real lives,

By more than just a jot.

They’ll now be offered many sops,

In every kind of guise;

With Boris Johnson porridge oats (1)

And Cameron pork-pies.

It’s music lovers who’ve gained most,

(Despite some boorish groans)

As they’ll continue to enjoy,

The bagpipes dulcet tones!

(1) “Oats. A grain, which in England is generally given to horses,

but in Scotland supports the people”. Samuel Johnson.

A Dictionary of the English Language (1755)

© Richard Layton