THE RESERVE ARMY OF LABOUR! (poem)

THE RESERVE ARMY OF LABOUR!

Ed Miliband says that under Labour,

youngsters will lose their dole money

unless they undertake a training course.

Big Ed’s first pre-election spiel,

Attempts to float the boat;

Of Middle England to secure,

The mainstream public vote.

He’s keen to raise his profile as,

He’s down in every poll;

And so he’ll ape the Tories and,

Attack those on the dole,

He knows with his weak image that,

His chance could be kaput;

And that he might become an ass,

Just like poor Michael Foot! (1)

He wants each jobless tearaway,

To give up being pissed;

And train to be a Hairdresser,

Or Astrophysicist.

Or maybe a Philosopher,

With all their laid-back phlegm;

(But no more Politicians as,

We’ve an excess of them.)

The country needs Tattooists and,

Some extra Bishops too;

To help create additional wealth,

For Britain’s moneyed few.

With unemployment as its been,

All the redundant yobs;

Might still act quite revoltingly,

When they’ve still got no jobs! (2)

As training courses won’t remove,

The millions out of work;

And thus like all politicos,

Big Ed is just a berk!

(1) Michael Foot allegedly wore a Donkey

Jacket on Remembrance Sunday at  the

Cenotaph in 1981 and ruined his image.

(2) For the last forty years, UK unemployment

has never dropped below one million and many

well-qualified youngsters still can’t get work.

© Richard Layton