THE QUIET MAN SQUEAKS! (poem)

THE QUIET MAN SQUEAKS!

(On April Fools’ Day 2013, Iain Duncan Smith

on a Government Salary of £2576 per week

claimed he could live on Benefits of £53 p.w.,

“If he had to”.)

So Duncan Smith claims he could live,

On Fifty quid a week;

Our anger stops us laughing at,

His utter barefaced cheek.

“Austerity’s the only way”,

So whispers I.D.S.;

“That means the wealthy should have more,

And the ‘precariat’ less”.

He claims he once was unemployed,

And very short on dough;

So weep tears for the Son-in-Law

Of Baron Cottesloe! (1)

Times were so hard he couldn’t heat,

His mansion’s swimming-pool;

And almost had to stop the kids,

Attending Eton School!

The Rolls was traded in for a,

Cheap Bentley on the drive;

Thus proving strivers come out tops,

Above all those that skive.

He strove his way to power by,

Massaging his C.V.; (2)

A fine example of hard ‘graft’,

For skivers such as we.

So shirkers everywhere take note,

The world of work does pay;

Especially if you’re D.S. on,

Three-Hundred quid a day!

So hurry all you unemployed,

Just think of what you’ve missed;

All those Three-Million jobs out there,

That simply don’t exist!

(1) IDS lives in a rent-free ‘cottage’ on Baron

Cottesloe’s Estate valued at up to £1 m.

-- as is his personal wealth. 

(2) BBC Newsnight found his claims to have

attended Perugia University & Dunchurch

College’s Management Course were false.

© Richard Layton