THE CONFEDERATION OF BRITISH INDUSTRY - POEM

THE CONFEDERATION OF BRITISH INDUSTRY
(Motto: The Voice of Business.)

(In the past, The CBI has opposed additional Bank Holidays
on the grounds that each day would cost £6 Billion extra--
but kept quiet about  the Royal Wedding Bank Holiday!)

Let’s glorify the CBI,
That philanthropic entity;
Whose own ‘non-profit’ aims belie, (1)
Its corporate propensity!

The CBI, we must give thanks,
Is altruistic to the core;
And like the City and the Banks,
Is most concerned about the poor.

But more Bank Holidays, ‘for free’,
Are really quite beyond the pale;
As the UK economy,
Invariably is far too frail!

The workers here lack discipline,
But have a plethora of perks;
And like the unemployed, live in,
A land where almost no one works!

The Big Kahunas earn their dimes,
Twice-monthly, toiling half a day;
For peanuts, such as fifty times,
The average worker’s lavish pay!

It’s fair ‘cause those who slave so hard,
Deserve their well-earned income hike;
Whilst workers only have regard,
For going out on constant strike.

The latter in their apathy,
Work at a rate that’s quite sedate;
(But go on strike and suddenly,
‘They hold to ransom the whole State’!)

The CBI would legislate,
So workers upped their plodding pace;
With more hours at a lesser rate,
To keep them in their proper place.

So more Bank Holidays? - No way!
As each cost ‘us’ Six-Billion quid;
But for the Royal Wedding Day,
One kept one’s Scrooge-like views well hid!

(1) The CBI is incorporated as a
‘non-profit’ organisation.

© Richard Layton