TIRESOME FURY AND FISTICUFFS! (weekly poem)

TIRESOME FURY AND FISTICUFFS!

Following the resignation of Diane James after 18 days and the

‘altercation’ between UKIP MEP’s in the European Parliament,

it’s rumoured that Tyson Fury may now stand for UKIP leader!

Those gentle UKIP MEP’s,

How well they all reflect;

The British way of tolerance,

And mutual respect.

Each one a kindly democrat,

And intellectuals all;

And having spoke of peace and love,

They’re waiting for the call.

Our British values are the best;

So tranquil and refined;

So keeping foreigners at bay,

Is really being kind.

And UKIP-types, they represent

The British way of life;

All hit and miss (!) and on the piss,

Then home to beat the wife.

The virtuous Neil Hamilton, (1)

(Still bafflingly at large!)

The lovely Douglas Carswell and,

Of course, ‘new’ boss Farage. (2)

Ex-Fuehrer Diane James is there,

And backer, Arron Banks;

And up and down this pleasant land,

The plonkers in the ranks.

So surely Mike ‘Left’ Hookem should, (3)

Lead all these ugly mugs;

This bunch of ignoramuses,

And petty loud-mouthed thugs,

Into the promised land of hate,

Where ignorance still rules;

And policy’s distilled by those,

Who think with just their balls!

(1) He of brown envelope notoriety.

(2) Having ‘retired’ for the umpteenth time.

(3) UKIP Defence Spokesman (sic!) who, allegedly, punched

new leadership contender, Steven Woolfe, to the ground.

© Richard Layton