Poem - PAY HOMAGE TO THE HOUSE OF LORDS!

PAY HOMAGE TO THE HOUSE OF LORDS! 

(A few years after Lords Taylor & Truscott were

suspended for offering to amend legislation for cash,

Peers are again in the news for fleetingly visiting the

Lords to claim the £300 daily attendance allowance.)

Pay homage to the House of Lords,

Where Peers are into self-awards;

But cut a certain rakish dash,

Whilst thumbing envelopes for cash!

Burke’s Peerage lists both don and dunce,

But not those Lords receiving bunce;

And looking for a life of ease,

Financed by legislative sleaze.

Who wouldn’t want to be a toff,

To have one’s hooter in the trough;

And join their lordship’s gravy train,

Whilst they campaign for private gain?

Who would refuse to be a Gent,

And be of eminent descent;

If membership of such high rank,

Meant lots of lolly in the bank?

It takes mere DNA not nous,    

To join the noble Upper House;

And hob-nob with each dodgy nob,

Before they plan the next big job. (1)

Some chinless wonders even brag,

About the level of their ‘swag’; 

And quote a cool ‘one-hundred grand’,

(Which must, of course, be ‘cash in hand’!)

The thrill of wearing erminois,

And all this ‘nice work for the boys’;

Must make the bankers seethe with rage,

At the perks of an erstwhile age.

Expunge the beastly House of Lords!

Where two have fallen on their swords.

Away with unelected sin,

At least we vote the Commons in!

⁽¹⁾ According to the OED, ‘Job’ is also an

archaic term meaning to profit from a

public office or a position of trust; as in:

‘If left unfettered he would job’.

© Richard Layton