“A RISE SIR STUART”?!

“A RISE SIR STUART”?!

(The Queen’s annual allowance raised from

£31 m. to £36.1 m. as Crown Estate head,

Sir Stuart Hampson, reveals record profits.)

Our country’s bankrupt so let’s weep,

A crocodile-type tear;

That we could only give The Queen,

Five Million more this year!

The millions of unemployed,      

Would certainly donate;             

A Tenner from their Benefits,   

To ease her parlous state.         

The Bankers too, undoubtedly,      

Would pay some extra tax;                 

Another five per cent would help,       

Her live life to the max.                      

Meanwhile, her son, The Prince of Wales;            

Who’s stuck in Queer Street too;     

Wails daily to his Pansies that,              

He hasn’t got a sou!                              

Perhaps the Food Banks, being flush,

Will send some 3-star nosh;

As being quite superfluous,

Their shelving is awash!

The Plebs could beat the bedroom tax,

By giving Royals a bed;

So that our betters have a place,

To lay their weary head.

It’s really shameful how we treat,

Our Royal kith and kin;

Reducing Liz to penury,

Because the state we’re in.

So let’s start a collection soon,

To ease her worried mind;

Sixteen Per Cent’s a lousy rise,

And really most unkind!

© Richard Layton