PRINCE ANDREW PITCHES FOR A NEW ROYAL YACHT (weekly poem)

PRINCE ANDREW PITCHES FOR A NEW ROYAL YACHT

We need a brand new Royal Yacht,

To boost 'our' export trade;

So that the workers with their shares,

Will more than have it made!

The Royal Yacht 'Britannia' was,

Scrapped twenty years ago;

That’s why we've had Austerity,

And a wage-rise go-slow.

If only half-starved Andy had,

Gone to more business 'do's';

Upon a brand new Royal Yacht,

Whilst on a luxury cruise,

We'd not be in the state were in,

Short of two-million pounds,

Spent on Eugenie's wedding that,

For us was out of bounds!

Such brand new junkets could help raise,

Three-Fifty million quid;

The true cost of the Royals each year, (1)

That’s usually well hid.

So vote my fellow workers for,

A brand new Royal Yacht;

And hope an iceberg heaves in view,

And scuttles the damn lot!

(1) The official figure of £40m p.a. does not include the Royal

security bill incurred by the Metropolitan Police nor the cost of

visits picked up by local councils. Nor does income from the

Duchy's of Lancaster and Cornwell go to the government. The

annual cost of the Monarchy is estimated by Republic at £345m.

© Richard Layton