BONKERS BORIS BONKS AGAIN!
When he was Foreign Secretary,
Our Boris liked to roam;
To deal with great affairs abroad,
Outside this island home.
But recently affairs back here, (1)
Have caused him to resign
Himself to one more wife's divorce,
For roaming out of line!
And lately State affairs have forced,
His resignation from
The Cabinet in protest at,
May's Chequers Brexit bomb!
Will he stand-up to be PM,
The Tories leading chap?
Yes, if they'll stand a leader who,
Talks loads of bleeding crap!
Of course our Boris sees himself,
As a great rational force;
His ex-wives view him more for his,
Irrational intercourse! (2)
Perhaps sly Boris needs a nip,
Of Bromide in his tea;
More expeditiously the snip,
To cure his malady!
Instead of PM, he should be,
Made a Chargé d'affaires;
To legalise and regulate,
His carnal 'laissez-faire'.
No doubt there'll be a pregnant pause,
Before more porky pies;
Whilst Boris looks for an excuse,
To further loose his flies!
(1) In 1987, Boris married Allegra Mostyn-Owen then had an
affair with Marina Wheeler. In 1993, he divorced Allegra
and married pregnant Marina. Had an affair with Petronella
Wyatt of The Spectator who became pregnant. 2004. Sacked
by Tory leader, Michael Howard, for lying about Wyatt affair.
(2) In 2006, the News of the World reported his affair with Anna
Fazackerly, journalist with Times Higher Education Supplement.
In 2010, he fathered a child with Helen MacIntyre an art consultant.
In 2018, rumours of another affair with former Tory spin doctor,
Carrie Symonds, prompted his wife to start divorce proceedings.
© Richard Layton
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