THE SECRET SWOONS OF A SOCIALIST! (weekly poem Valentine Day Special)

THE SECRET SWOONS OF A SOCIALIST!

(A Valentine’s Day Poem dedicated to Tory Lovelies)

I am in love with Mrs May,

Who seems to go to church each day;

In shoes of leopardskin so bright,

That highlight legs so slim and white.

That Amber Rudd--Oh what a vamp!

Like warders at a prison camp;

She'd beat me black and Tory-blue,

And I would beg for more--it's true!

Esther McVey--she's more than fit,

She'd not withdraw my benefit; 

Her accent is from Liddypool,

And she, like Cilla, makes me drool!

Ms. Soubry on the Beeb’s ‘Q.T.’

That cutie is the one for me;

I like the look of feigned surprise,

That’s permanently in her eyes.

Andrea Leadsom, one of them,

Who thought, they too, could be PM;

Ambition burns inside her bra,

A lissome, lithesome, lovesome star!

Oh Lizzie Truss, sweet Lizzie Truss,

Could truss me up without much fuss;

A bit of bondage would suit me,

In dungeons at the Treasury!

Edwina Curry’s a good egg,

She bowled John Major at Fine Leg;

But curried egg that she’d been fed,

Brought Salmonella on instead! 

Ann Widdecombe! She’s Number One,

Where one could have such sexy fun!

She smouldered on ‘Strictly TV’,

She’s the sex-kitten just for me!

I'd like to think her thunder thighs,

Would bring the teardrops to my eyes;

I'd cry out “Oh--no more” in vain,

But she'd deflower me again!

The femme fatales of history,

Have nothing on cute Ann for me;

I’m sure each young male Socialist,

Would find her so hard to resist.

And such love likely to combust,

In lust at the thrust of her bust;

To Kama Sutra ways so bold--

But thankfully, I'm much too old!

© Richard Layton.