CHEESED-OFF BY “CHEDDAR MAN”! (weekly poem)

CHEESED-OFF BY “CHEDDAR MAN”!

(A casein point to be caerphilly read)

Recent DNA tests have shown that some of the earliest

Britons were dark-skinned, blue-eyed and curly-haired.

Oh woe to racists everywhere,

There’s a gruyèresome smell;

That’s not just a brie(f) quandary,

In UKIP and the BNP,

But in the EDL.

Gorged on the news of their big cheese,

The Brown-skinned Cheddar Man;

His heirs are saying, “Whites go home,

Take your mutated Chromosome, (1)

And leave soon as you can”!

“Old Albion, a Rasta land,

Belongs to us, the Browns;

So White punk go and pack your trunk,

Take your crap Rap and Badger Skunk,

And leave our ghetto towns”.

“We know that all you Honkies won't,

Like our sarcastic jibe;

But catch the first banana-boat,

The 'SS Windrush' is afloat, (2)

To sail home to your tribe”.

“You come here pinching all our jobs,

And our dole money too;

Caucasians are a lower race,

Who shouldn't dare to show their face,

And should be in the Zoo”.

“So all you Whiteys, go back home,

And leave our precious land;

Get back to all your jungle huts,

Your palm-leaves and your coconuts--

Don't come back 'til you're tanned”! 

(1) A defective Chromosome may have given some brown

humans a fairer skin giving them an evolutionary advantage

to absorb Vitamin D from the weaker sunlight outside Africa.

(2) The ‘SS Windrush’ sailed from the West Indies to Britain in

1948 carrying one of the first large contingents of immigrants.

© Richard Layton