THE UPPER-CLASS TWIT OF THE YEAR 2017! (weekly poem)

THE UPPER-CLASS TWIT OF THE YEAR 2017!

(Apologies to the BBC & SPOTY)

Bookies Odds: Jacob Rees-Mogg 5/4 on; Boris Johnson 3/1;                        

Michael Gove 5/1; Jeremy Hunt 20/1; Dennis Skinner 500/1.

All Workers! Your chance cometh near,

As you can now vote with your rear;

For a windy old fart,

Who you think fits the part,

Of “Upper-Class Twit of the Year”!

The Beeb says that it will record,

Your choice of a Nob or a Lord;

So choose any posh Berk,

With a toffee-nosed smirk,

For this most prestigious award.

One could, of course, just vote by rote,

For Tories who own a clean moat;

As most other MP's,

Though not down on their knees,

Aren't foppish enough for your vote.

You may like to narrow your bet,

And keep to the Public-School set;

Yes, you all know the type,

Affectation and hype,

RP and the 'reight' etiquette! (1)

One need not be too doctrinaire,

As Toffs with grey cells are quite rare;

If you vote for a Nob,

With a snobby posh gob,

You're in with a wing and a prayer.

There are Chinless Wonders and Twits,

And Henry's who dine at the Ritz;

So make sure your vote's made,

For the swanky brigade,

And upper-class twit you think fits!

(1) Received Pronunciation.

© Richard Layton