“DOCTOR, WHO CARES?” (A Fantasy, Part 1) - weekly poem

“DOCTOR, WHO CARES?” (A Fantasy, Part 1)

Some Feminists are rejoicing that the 13^th 'Dr Who'

will be a woman as, with their limited perspective,

they view this trifle as a revolutionary breakthrough.

The new Dr Who is a woman!

Or in sexist parlance, 'a gal';

He's now been transgendered,

His cojones dismembered,

He is, chaps, no longer a male!

The trend could have repercussions,

Will actors adopt the new creed?

A musical play,

About Mrs May,

Could star Brian May in the lead! (1)

A brand new production on Hitler,

That's filmed at his Berlin retreat;

Might feature Miss Rudd, (2)

As the failed Nazi dud,

Bunkering down in defeat.

Could Ann Widdecombe play a Dalek?

Or a male space-monster instead?

And could Catholics cope,

If she plays the Pope,

With nun Tony Blair in 'theys' bed?! (3)

These follies are feasible if,

Non-binary gender holds sway; (4)

With some men in drag,

Wayne Rooney a WAG,

And Prince Charles, the Queen of the May!

This is the most faux revolution,

Since Tsarism's Petrograd fell;

But for minds that ain't small,

It's a load of old ball,

And a load of old 'ballcocks' as well!

(1) Queen guitarist.

(2) Amber Rudd, home secretary.

(3) The latest Feminist fad is for woman to self-identify as being

of 'non-binary gender', i.e. something other than a man or

woman who insist others refer to them as 'they' rather than 'she'.

(4) If, according to Feminists, gender is ‘non-binary’ then

it is a spectrum applicable to the entire human species.

© Richard Layton