“I'M JUST WILD ABOUT HARRY!” (weekly poem)

“I'M JUST WILD ABOUT HARRY!”

(Apologies to Noble Sissle & Eubie Blake, 1921)

June 17. In an interview, Prince Harry said the Royals don't really

want to rule but will do so for “the greater good of the people”!

A word in your ear, 'Arry Boy,

Before it gets too late;

Don't worry 'bout “the greater good”,

Just bleedin' abdicate!

And take the rest of all your clan,

The inbred Windsor mob;

Down to the local work exchange,

And get a proper job.

That old twerp, Charlie boy, could sweep,

The Slough to Windsor road ;

And bruvver Will could check each verge,

To see it's prop'ly mowed.

You ponce around in uniforms,

And look a proper tit;

Grow up and give us all a rest,

You'll soon get over it!

And 'Arry Boy, ‘Spare to the Heir’,

We've seen through your excuse;

Of photo calls with Africans, (1)

Pretending you're of use!

Two-Hundred million quid a year, (2)

Is just insanity;

For patronage to help the poor,

Raise cash for charity!

You must be joking, 'Arry Boy,

If you think we're that green;

To want your big-girls-blouse step-Dad, (3)

To rule just like a Queen!

The fact you're getting tired, old son,

Of the whole pantomime;

Shows even Royals think it's an,

Expensive waste of time.

If you find Royal life a bore,

Just get up off your arse;

And work upon the factory floor,

Just like the working class!

(1) Much has been made of Harry's 'work' for African charities.

(2) The Royals real cost including security estimated by Republic.

(3) Some believe Diana's lover, James Hewitt, to be Harry's father.

© Richard Layton