IT’S ALL IN THE MIND! (weekly poem)

IT’S ALL IN THE MIND!

Shadow Home Secretary, Diane Abbott, said to Nick Ferrari

on LBC radio that Labour would put an extra Ten-thousand

Policemen on the streets for an absolute steal at £300,000!

With Labour’s extra police to come,

Their scheme’s been fully planned;

And costed at the bargain sum,

Of some Three-hundred grand!

With all these ‘Bogey’-men at large,

And Coppers going spare;

Each neighbourhood could have a Sarge,

To keep tabs everywhere.

The Rozzers could be down your street,

The Feds could be there too;

And the result of all this Heat,

Could all come down on you!

And then the Narcs would sniff around,

With all their pals, the Dicks;

Rogue cars could fill-up every Pound,

And Crims fill all the Nicks.

What with ‘The Bill’ upon the beat, (1)

‘The Sweeney’ in their cars; (2)

It could look like the ‘Z-Cars’ fleet, (3)

Combined with ‘Life on Mars’! (4)

But sadly, all this Fuzz-y gen,

Is all in Diane’s mind;

Which isn’t saying much, but then,

We mustn’t be unkind!

(1) ‘The Bill’ TV police series 1984-2010.

(2) ‘The Sweeney’ TV police series 1975-1978.

(3) ‘Z-Cars’ TV police series 1962-1978.

(4) ‘Life on Mars’ TV police series 2006-2007.

© Richard Layton