THE SAUCERERS APPRENTICE! (weekly poem)

THE SAUCERERS APPRENTICE!

“I’ve succeeded in business because I’ve employed people

with dedication, motivation and persistence. When I met

some apprentices recently, I was really impressed by their

attitude. They’re ambitious, they’re doers - they make

things happen; … Success is down to finding people like

this. People that make businesses grow”.

Sir Alan Sugar, TV advert for apprentices, 2009.

You’ll note in ‘The Apprentice’ that’s,

On TV now each week;

The entrants are a motley crew,

Exuding wind and cheek.

And when one of these chinless twerps,

Has the good luck to win;

They usually last a year or two,

Before they chuck it in. (1)

Back in the real world if they make,

Lord Sugar’s business grow;

Why isn’t it apprentices,

Who earn most of the dough?

If his success is really down,

To people just like this;

How come his pay is way beyond,

The dreams of avarice?

If they’re the “doers” and they make,

Things happen every day;

How come that he’s got all the wealth,

And they their piddling pay?

They do not get what they create,

Their pickings are quite slim;

How come they earn a thousandth of,

The total paid to him?

(1) Under the old format where the Apprentice worked for

one of Lord Sugar’s companies, all six Apprentices left.

© Richard Layton