IPSO FACTO! (weekly poem)

IPSO FACTO!

Buckingham Palace has lodged a complaint with IPSO

(Independent Press Standards Organisation) re The Sun’s

claim that the Queen told Nick Clegg she favoured Brexit.

“One’s quite annoyed with one’s own Press,

How they can be so glib;

And purposely print in The Sun, 

As Rupert Murdoch’s paper’s done,

What one knows is a fib”.

“In one’s own younger days, the Press,

And others knew their place;

But nowadays the Fourth Estate, 

Will hack and bribe and infiltrate,

To fill ‘Court Gossip’ space”. 

“They once claimed that one’s dear Queen Mum,

Was Tory through and through;

And that she spent on booze and bets,

And ran up lots of bookie debts,

Which simply wasn’t true”! (1)

“My husband, Dookey Phil, and I,  

Are British to one’s core;

And stories we’ve got foreign blood,

And we’re a gene-preserving stud,

Are Greco-German lore”! (2)

“One must admit that Brexit does,

Appeal in one’s own mind;

As one can savour and then drool,

Upon the fact that one can rule,

One’s kith and kin and kind”.

“But either way, my darling Charles,

Will still one day be King;

And ipso facto, any votes,   

Swayed by some anti-E.U. quotes,              

Won’t change a ruddy thing”!

(1) It was reputed that the Queen Mother had an overdraft of £5-7m

with Coutts Bank because of her liking for champagne and the ponies.

(2) The Queen is descended from the House of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha and the

Greek-born Duke from the House of Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glucksburg.

© Richard Layton