THE SAINT WHO AIN’T? (weekly poem)

THE SAINT WHO AIN’T?

The BBC revealed that a previous Pope, John Paul 11, had

a ‘relationship’ with a married woman philosophy professor.

Could Vatican woes cause folk to,

See through the Holy See?

Could gossip in St Peter’s Square,

Which could cause some to rush to prayer,

Be mere scurrility?

Could it be that His Holiness,

One time had steamed-up specs?

And was he tempted by the charms,

Of being in the nubile arms,

Of one of the fair sex?

Did John Paul have to make a choice,

And found himself nonplussed;

By the thrust of her thesis or, (1)

(To be an awful vulgar bore)

By the thrust of her bust?

Did she, in turn, reciprocate,

With lovelorn soppy eyes,

When she espied the camping shorts?

Did these unleash forbidden thoughts,

About his manly thighs? (2)

If saints and such are tempted thus, (3)

It’s clearly plain to see; 

That if there’s little hope for you,  

Then one fact certainly is true,

There’s even less for me!

(1) Anna-Teresa Tymieniecka was a Polish and later American

philosopher who in a 30 year correspondence expressed her

love for him. She later denied that she had fallen for the Pope.

(2) Pictures appeared in the media of them camping

together - he wearing a pair of rather unflattering shorts.

(3) John Paul 11 was made a saint in 2011.

© Richard Layton