ONLY A PORN IN THE GAME! (weekly poem)

ONLY A PORN IN THE GAME!

Jacqueline Gold, boss of the ‘Ann Summers’ sex-shops,

has received a CBE for ‘services to entrepreneurship’.

If you wear cotton bloomers or,

Long Johns in bed at night;

You could be stifling poor Ms Gold’s,

From rags to riches flight. (1)

The selling of unmentionables,

And luminous sex-toys;

Is the ‘Ann Summers’ strategy,

That profits from our joys.

Ms Gold’s es-sensual policy,

Is selling what will tease;

From lace-up bustier to a,

Diaphanous chemise.

There is enough to satisfy,

Each woman, beast or man;

New blue films for the Vicar and,

Vibrators for your Gran!

There’s blow-up dolls for Grandad and,

Some scanties for Aunt Flo;

This month’s star buy? Ann Widdecombe’s,

Pole-dancing video.

‘Entrepreneurship’ means the sale,

Of titillating tat;

Such tat for tit as pump-up bras,

That like old jokes go flat!

(1) Ms Gold’s father owned the four original ‘Ann Summers’

stores as well as a sex book publishing chain and ‘Knickerbox’.

His personal fortune is estimated at £350m.

© Richard Layton