Sealous For Votes? (poem)

SEALOUS FOR VOTES?

18/10/14. Justice Minister, Andrew Sealous, denies increasing

prison violence is due to government cuts. And as Cameron is

against prisoner’s votes, is the Government missing a trick as

a Guardian survey says most prisoners are Tories & Royalists?

Despite the Tories posturing,

On prisoner’s rights and votes;

The day might dawn when they’ll have to,

Kowtow to such old scrotes. (1)

For all these fine entrepreneurs,

Are what the country needs;

To lift it out recession by,

Their enterprising deeds.

Big Al Capone had no doubts that,

He was a businessman;

Providing booze for customers,

Both in and out the can!

The Krays weren’t really criminals,

Or East End long firm thugs; (2)        

But altruistic marketeers,

Employing jobless mugs.

But irrespective of such thoughts,

According to the Mail;

Our prisons are so soft, ex-cons

Will break back into jail!

The mucking out at prison farms,

Appeals to every lout;

As does the scent of sweaty feet,

And daily slopping-out.

The violence and blackmail threats,

And homosexual rape;

Along with drugs and crowded cells,

Make jail a jolly jape!

Such bonhomie and sodomy,

And the Queen on tv;

Means most inmates prefer to stay,

Instead of going free!

And if, as claimed, most old cons are,

For Tories and the Queen;

The Cons need cons to vote for their,

Conservative machine.

The Tories thus could lose a trick,

At next year’s Gen. Elec.;

As jailbird votes could swing the Poll,

And save the P.M.’s neck!

(1) Scrote (from Scrotum) A contemptible person.

As used by Ronnie Barker playing Fletcher in the

BBC prison comedy series ‘Porridge’ in the 70’s.

(2) Long firm fraud: The building up a good credit

reputation by paying promptly for small orders and

then disappearing with the goods after a large order.

© Richard Layton