BRAINFREE IN BRAINTREE! (poem))

BRAINFREE IN BRAINTREE!

(Who put the sex in Essex?)

27/9/14. Braintree Tory MP, Brooks Newmark,

after receiving several testy calls, resigned as a

minister after sending explicit Internet images

of himself to a journalist posing as a Tory totty!

The Braintree Tory Member failed,

In his quest to impress;

When he exposed his member to,

A Member of the Press!

A case, as Gilbert might say of, (1)

“A person most political;

Whose Internet phone image caused,

His digit to go digital”!

The trouble sexting with all one’s,

Accoutrements displayed;

Was the assumption, soon dissolved,

That he had got it made!

Top Tory Totty’s like men well-

Endowed in bod and bank;

But Newmark on the first account,

Might not have been first rank! (2)

The Sunday Mirror story’s caused

This resignation sting;

And ended what was ‘guaranteed’,

An assignation fling!

The moral of this tale is this,

As one more Tory falls;

That bourgeois politics exposed,

Is just a load of balls!

(1) Librettist, W.S. Gilbert.

(2) Newmark passed the second

test being worth £3.2m.

© Richard Layton

Image supposedly sent