A GOVE-RNMENT FANTASY! (POEM)

A GOVE-RNMENT FANTASY!

July 2014-Michael Gove demoted to Chief Whip.

The teaching unions rejoice,

At the demise of Gove;

Regarded by the many as,

A disputatious cove.

He’s been demoted in the ranks,

To the post of Chief Whip;

Reducing all his chances to,

Command the Tory ship. (1)

As Chief Whip he’ll allegedly,

Wear thigh-length leather boots;

And in his ‘dominatrix’ gear, (2)

Spank lots of his old fruits!

The Cons were always keen to flog,

The destitute and poor;

But now they’ve got the taste themselves,

They’re clamouring for more!

At their Head Office Hell Fire Club,

In Matthew Parker Street;

The reprobates from Westminster,

Have to be quite discreet.

As in the dungeon things go on,

That really are quite lewd;

A closet world that plumbs the depths,

Of moral turpitude!

They’ve borrowed handcuffs from the Met.,

And Tracey Emin’s bed; (3)

So when not lying to us all,

They’re lying down instead.

Now when they’re busy and ‘tied up’,

That’s the one thing that’s true;

Which thus explains the reason why,

The Tory colour’s Blue!

(1) Some saw Gove as a future Tory leader.

(2) Men’s Libbers should note that there

is no formal word for a male equivalent.

(3) Exhibited at the Tate Gallery in 1999 along with

‘condoms & clothing soiled with bodily secretions’.

© Richard Layton