CHARLES THINKS HE KNOWS HIS ONIONS…(poem)

CHARLES THINKS HE KNOWS HIS ONIONS…

23/05/14: After Prince Charles compared

Putin to Hitler, Russia hit back with a list

of the Royal Family’s Nazi connections.

Charles thinks he knows his onions and,

Thus plays the Royal sage;

With all the wit of George the Third,

The Johnson of this age.

(Not Sam but rather Boris who (1)

He’s trying to upstage.)

It’s easy, therefore, to believe,

His diplomatic gaffe;

Comparing Vlad with Adolf H.,

Which Russia thinks is naff.

And which explains the East-West clash

And Foreign Office faff.

When Charlie’s Aunt wed Princeling Hesse,

A Nazi S.S. swine; (2)

This sour Kraut brought in a taste,

Of Hun-ey to the line! (3)

Which to the aristocracy

Of Britain then was fine.

Duke Ed and Duchess Wallis flew,

To Hitler’s high retreat; (4)

Where they both met der Fuehrer and,

His Aryan elite.

Eight years before the Thousand Year

Reich crumbled in defeat.

Then ‘Arry Boy’ acquired himself, (5)

A Nazi uniform;

Which as per Royal history,

Was nothing out the norm.

But photos in The Sun foretold

The calm before the storm.

So when it comes to Nazi facts,

Charles grasp should be okay;

But listening’s hard, when mighty lugs

Are blocked by one’s toupee,

And one has trouble seeing ‘cause,

One’s head gets in the way!

(1) Samuel Johnson-wit and lexicographer.

(2) 1930, Prince Philip’s sister, Sophie, wed

S.S. Officer Prince Christoph of Hesse.

Their son was named Karl Adolf.

(3) 1917, Britain’s Royal Family changed its name

in WW1 from Saxe-Coborg-Gotha to Windsor.

(4) 1937, to the Berghof. The Duke & Duchess

of Windsor were noted Nazi sympathisers.

(5) 2005, Prince Harry dressed up in

a Nazi desert uniform for a party.

© Richard Layton