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Monday, January 20, 2014

THE NEW ARCHBOSH OF CANT! - POEM

THE NEW ARCHBOSH OF CANT!
(Ex-oil executive, Justin Portal Welby, the new
Archbishop of Canterbury, is for Women Bishops 
--but ordinary Church members are against!)
                                                                             
The Primate will not ape his tribe, (1)
By monkeying around;
With women’s rights, as he believes,
That they’re not nuts but sound!

The Church hopes this ex-oil exec,
Will bring their claim on stream;
And ultimately realise,
The ‘Second Coming’ dream.

But marketing the dream won’t be,
A barrelful of laughs;
With seats for ‘Hers’ and sheets for ‘Hymns’,
Instead of output graphs.

The oil-rig platform’s there for him,
To drill the message in;
A crude extraction exercise,
To exorcise all sin!

And when the final product is,
Diluted at the pumps;
Will it still be polluted with,
The dregs out of the sumps?

Will it be a High Octane brew,
A tankful of Five Star;
Or just the same old sludge and fudge,
That’s brought the Church this far?

So will it be a Total smash,
That he will want to bless?
Or Jet-tison as a bad crash,
And send an Esso-s!?

A Justin-time cure for Church ills,
For fitness and good Elf ?                                
Or Portal to the Murco depths,
That end up on the Shell-f?

Is he a true man of the cloth,
Or just an oily rag?
And will his Hope-mobile win through,
Or will its chassis sag?

Some say religion’s had its day
And part of history;
And when at last, it disappears,
The better off Welby!

(1) The Laity at Synod voted against Women Bishops.

© Richard Layton

2 comments:

  1. Black Dog11:01 pm

    If you're a socialist, religion is not your toy. It's not mine, either. Leave them alone. Anything less is simply petulant and typical middle class huffing whilst there are far, far greater problems here.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I beg to differ. See here why
    http://www.socialismoryourmoneyback.blogspot.com/2014/01/sunday-sermon.html

    ReplyDelete