what recession?

According to a survey of the top point one percent wealthiest Americans, there is no such thing as recession. Of the 300 millionaires and billionaires surveyed, only two of them said that a recession had taken place since the housing bubble burst in 2008.

"It's classic media sensationalism," said oil magnate Jeremiah Wallace, who was swimming in his vault of gold coins at the time of interview. "The reality is that people still have money to fuel their private jets and buy castles in the Scottish Highlands."

"Where are all these so-called poor people?" asked retail tycoon Constance Spencer, who conducted her interview from behind the tinted window of her Rolls-Royce Phantom. "They're not at the golf course; they're not at the spa; they're not even at the Ritz-Carlton. Pish posh."

Another twenty-six percent - think that poverty is a government conspiracy to raise taxes. "It's all about filling up the coffers of these fat cat teachers unions," said Thad Rockwell, a commodity futures speculator. "If I get another tax hike, I might have to rent out the east wing of my Moroccan palace."

One hundred percent of wealthy people surveyed have a positive economic outlook.

Adapted from here