Tuesday, August 11, 2015

INVERTED GAZE! (weekly poem)


The Association of Christian Counsellors says the practice
of trying to ‘cure’ homosexuals should stop but the Core
Issues Trust says Christian ethics must be upheld.(1)

I minced my way to ‘A & E’,
The message there was clear;
“You’re not the sort of ‘casualty’, 
That we can deal with here.
You need Aversion Therapy,
For an effective cure;
Then, maybe, the Core Issues Trust,
Will certify you’re pure”.

So I booked in the Priory, (2)
To see an analyst;
And try a dose of ECT, (3)
To force me to desist.
I paid up front in Nine-bob notes
And used a nom-de-plume;
So I was peeved to find a vase,
Of pansies in my room!

Perhaps my sprayed-on leather jeans,
Brought on a mincing gait;
And drew attention to the staff,
Of my inverted trait.
Emasculation was discussed,
I didn’t give a toss;
The bromide had contributed,
To my libido loss.

My sexual proclivities,
Were analysed in full;
But they concluded that a cure,
Was just a load of bull.
So I bestrode the centre road,
To be respectable;
That’s why I’m now bisexual,
And voting Liberal!

(1) The Core Issues Trust is a Christian organisation
which offers ‘therapeutic support’ and counselling
for homosexuals to change their behaviour.

(2) London clinic known for treating celebrities with addictions.

(3) Electroconvulsive Therapy

© Richard Layton

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