Tuesday, May 19, 2015


(Dissostichus eleginoides)

The Government spent £400,000 over 10 years unsuccessfully
resisting the Guardian newspaper’s ‘Freedom of Information’
request for copies of the ‘Black Spider memos’ of Prince Charles.

CLARENCE HOUSE                  April 1st, 1984.
Balls Pond Road
London N.1

My Dear Prime Minister,

The Patagonian Toothfish,
To strike a solemn note;
Is as a species having,
A job to stay afloat.
Because illegal fishing,
Is causing quite a loss;
And Mummy’s therefore worried,
For the poor Albatross!
And as you know, Dear P.M.,
When she’s not too engrossed;
Her Majesty likes Toothfish,
Upon her morning toast.

Camilla too, was saddened,
That last year’s Badger Cull;
Did not kill many of them,
And thus was awfully dull.
It’s true my Duchy cattle,
Did not get Bovine Flu;
But I’m your King-in-waiting,
So do what you must do!

And if you fail to heed me,
l warn you, my old cock;
Cock-up and it’s no knighthood,
And your head’s on the block.
So any future trouble,
With your bloody shower;
You’ll all be out of office,
Inside the Bloody Tower!

Yours, etc., Charles

© Richard Layton

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