Tuesday, April 21, 2015


(The British General Election, May 7th, 2015)

An Election is looming, where lies will be told,
Where the truth’s accidental and souls will be sold;
Where the candidates talk, a shed-load of old tripe,
As a part of the business of ballot-box hype.

On the platform, posh Dave, the Etonian gent,
Will be telling some tales that are patently bent;
Then that wow personality, Ed Miliband,
Will enrapture the voters with yarns just as grand.

Young Nick Clegg will be trying to limit his loss,
Re his secondary fiddling to Dave the big boss;
And when down at the hustings and spouting his fibs,
He’ll be begging the students to still back the Libs! (1)

And that firkin old boozer, that fugging Farage, (2)
Will be laying a smokescreen and telling ‘em large;
‘Bout corruption and jobbery in the E.U.--
The expenses affair of his M.E.P. crew! (3)

The Green gang will be flogging their patented cure,
Quite unsullied by commerce  and all things impure;
They will save the same system that spews out the shite,
But will ban TV’s switched on to standby at night!

But you voters out there, there’s no need for this game,
At the end of the day, it is you who’s to blame;
We deserve, like the tabloids, the M.P.’s we get,
And this lot, are a mug’s game, like Russian roulette!

(1) The Liberal Democrats at the 2010 General
Election promised not to raise student fees…

(2) Firkin: Nine Imperial Gallons of Ale or Beer
or an Ale or Beer cask containing that amount.

(3) Nigel Farage was “deeply shocked” at UKIP
M.E.P.’s “overstating” their E.U. expenses…

© Richard Layton

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