A FUGGING SCAM!
The BBC TV programme ‘Fake Britain’, exposed
the non-tax paying bootleg cigarette industry
For Britain’s straight tobacco firms,
Fake cigs must be a drag;
That cause their top executives,
To reach for one more fag,
Or if they’re hardened pipe men to,
Light-up strong Navy shag.
Production of fake fags could be,
The sectors coffin-nail;
As pirates shun Virginia tar,
For tar sands from oil shale,
Plus sawdust soaked in paraffin,
For smokers to inhale!
So all you smoking-shelter buffs
Each with a throaty rasp;
Say no to freezing wind and rain,
It’s really time to grasp,
A pack of real or fake fags could,
Soon bring on your last gasp!
It’s time those with a smoker’s cough,
Hooked on the filthy weed;
Stubbed out their gaspers as of now,
To do the daring deed.
Remember giving up will help,
Snuff out the pirate’s greed!
Roll-up, to see the ghost within,
The cigarette machine;
The industry might just flake out,
Without real nicotine,
Although by then the Treasury,
Would likely intervene.
The pirates run smoke-rings around,
Acquiring profits but they don’t,
Pay tax for you and me,
To fund the good old NHS
In treating the ‘Big C’!
© Richard Layton